Live Like a Champion, Get Rich Quick!

If anyone has any questions they would like me to answer on the blog, do not hesitate to send them my way. Either post them in the comment section or e-mail them to [briefpenguin@gmail.com]. To get the ball rolling, I asked Lev to pose a question to me...

How can I earn $5,000 in one day without disrupting my class schedule too much?

At first I wasn't sure if I wanted to tackle this question because I couldn't figure out a good way to answer it. The problem I had was that I thought in terms of things that I would do. Once I got out of the realm of my own conscious, the answer was quite simple.

EDIT: Lev, to save time you can just scroll down to the bottom. I would never purposefully imply that you are desperate/destitute. Also, as your roommate, I know you would never try any of the alternatives that I pose.

1) Steal

There are plenty of students with unlocked dorm rooms, unlocked cars, and unattended baggage all over campus. Once you have taken all of the items that you think you will need, I would recommend pawn shops, stores that specialize in used goods (Gamestop, etc.), or the Internet (Amazon, Craigslist). This is not legal, moral, or safe, but you may reach your goal if you persevere (I know you can do it!).

2) Sell Drugs

This means of financing may be a little less morally deprecating because you are making people happier instead of sadder (by taking their stuff). People will often "front" you some drugs that you can sell, and then pay back later. Although I do not see it around, I am sure a college campus would be a great place to sell 1) marijuana, 2) prescription drugs, or 3) black tar heroin. It might be harder to actually find a group of steady costumers, but once you do, it is smooth sailing.

Helpful Hint: If you ask someone if they are a cop and they don't literally say "I am not a cop.", they are probably a cop.

3) Prostitute

Criagslist has made it fairly easy for a independently contracted prostitute to make it in a pimpless world. Just post what you do and how much you do it for and the clients will come to you.

Note: I do not advocate any illegal activities. Please live your life at your own risk.

The only legal route I can think of is the stock market, although you would definitely need some sort of initial revenue to jump start your profits. The lottery might also be up your alley.

The problem is that people still believe that there is a quick fix, an easy answer. One can not get something for nothing. You must invest, take risks, work hard, and try to make something of yourself. Also, please remember that money is not everything. As long as you have enough to stay afloat, why not put your energy into more fulfilling endeavors (like building your own Da Vinci flying machine, or painting your entire house using fruit scented markers).

Speak easy,
Neil