Thursday, February 12, 2009

Mistakes Men Make: Part I

This is an advertisement that I came across while I was on Facebook.

The image links you to this website. In honor of Valentine's Day, I thought I would go through the website's list of "dangerous mistakes" that men make when pursuing the ladies.

1. Being Too Much of a "Nice Guy"

What does that mean?: Being nice doesn't make a women choose you because when a guy is nice, he does not make them feel a gut level attraction.

- I think that most people confuse being nice with having a lack of confidence. For the most part, people are attracted to people that display a certain level of confidence. I am not specifically talking about someone with an A personality, but someone that is comfortable enough in their own skin. On the topic of "nice", well...there is absolutely a variety of different people with a variety of different tastes and preferences. Some women are incredibly attracted to nice guys or fat guys or old guys or guys with glasses or guys with piercings.

2. Trying To "Convince Her to Like You".

What does that mean?: You can't convince a girl to like you.

- I completely agree with this sentiment, but I do think that people can change their opinions on an individual. You can't really convince someone to feel a certain way, but you can just be yourself and maybe, over time, the opposite sex will warm up to you. Like everything else, friendships and relationships are a process. Humans latch on to the idea of putting things in boxes. The best way to grow something is organically. I may be completely wrong though. I read an article the other day that said that it is completely conceivable that humans may be able to live forever by inserting their mind into a computer data base (something that may happen in my lifetime).

3. Looking To Her For Approval or Permission

What does that mean?: Women hate kiss ups.

- This just reminds me of the aforementioned mistake that referenced guys that act "too nice". Just don't "act". If you put on some sort of weird persona around her and she actually does latch on to that in a favorable manner, how long can you really keep that up? If you are around someone long enough you will inevitably reveal to them who you really are. The person that you start a relationship with is almost never the person of whom you end that relationship.

4. Trying to "Buy" Her Affection With Food and Gifts.

What does that mean?: Women consider spending too much money on them a form of manipulation or compensation.

- It's not a bad idea to spend some money on a date as long as you don't do it too much or too often.

5. Sharing "How You Feel" Too Early In The Relationship.

What does that mean?: Attractive women are a rare species that get hit on a lot and are very experienced (according to the text). Telling an attractive women you like them is a huge turn off.

- This harks back to what I mentioned before, about how all people are different and that not everyone thinks or acts the same way. If you want to tell someone how you feel, that's great. Whatever. If you are in a relationship with them and they can't handle it, that's their problem. Don't come on too strong, but don't keep everything bottled up just because the internet tells you this is the best way to score unattainable women.

Today I started working in the mail room. The guy that trained me described the job as "something a monkey could do". It's a fairly easy position.

Speak easy,


leah rizzo said...

neil, as a friend of sarah jaffe's and an avid follower of your blog, i must say that i'm sad to have not been able to spend quality time with you yet.

i read all your posts and enjoy them.

kat(hryn) said...

That little girl is adorable. I loved the "lalala" part because it was so Aidenesque. I also liked the "She's my mom.... No she's not" part. It made me giggle.

Leah, this is my friend Neil. We know each other from high school. We dated in 10th grade. Neil, this is my friend Leah. She's cute and funny and jumped on me once and she's been to my house. She is Sarah's best friend.